For Leaders Only

When police administrators get together for meetings and conferences, writing is always a hot topic. You hear the same question again and again: how can we raise the quality of our agencies’ police reports?

But there’s another group of criminal justice professionals who would  like to improve their own writing but may not know how to go about it. They are the administrators themselves. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have advanced writing skills?

Of course the problem is time. If you hold a leadership position, you’re unlikely to find the leisure to work your way through an advanced writing program. At least that’s what many administrators have told me.

My point is that you do have the time to improve your writing skills. And there’s more good news: the resources you need are all around you. (Although I’m addressing administrators here, I’m hoping that future leaders will read this article too.)

Here’s an important fact about English that’s often overlooked: we all live in a world of words. We hear and read sentences all the time. By simply noticing how people talk and write, you can expand your skills and become the writer you want to be. No grammar gobbledygook is necessary: curiosity is the key.

I’m going to start you off with two highly useful sentence patterns that you can learn in just a couple of minutes.

1.  Semicolons

The best-kept secret in English studies is that semicolons are incredibly easy to use.

Here’s how to do it: Write two simple sentences. Change the first period to a semicolon. Lower-case the next word unless it needs a capital letter. That’s it!

Below are two sentence pairs. The first sentence in each pair uses a period; the second one uses a semicolon. (Did you notice that I just used a semicolon? Easy, isn’t it?)

Officer Baptiste saw smoke coming from the window. She called 911. 
Officer Baptiste saw smoke coming from the window; she called 911.

I heard a dog whining. Fido was trapped in a garden shed.
I heard a dog whining; Fido was trapped in a garden shed.

You now have a master’s degree in semicolons! They’re so powerful that you don’t have to use them often—one per page usually works well.

2. Let your “voice” help you write effective sentences.

      Here’s an example from the Mission Impossible television show:

“Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to intercept the weapons shipment.”

Read the sentence aloud, noticing two things: your voice goes down at the first comma, and it comes back up at the second comma. Repeat as needed.

You now have a master’s degree in nonessential clauses! They’re so easy that you don’t need any grammar gobbledygook. Just pay attention to the ups and downs of your voice. Because you have a lifetime of language experience, your brain already knows what to do.

When you start listening for that voice-down and voice-up pattern, you’ll hear it constantly: everybody uses it. Make a conscious effort to use that pattern yourself at home, at work—everywhere you go.

Then start using it in your own writing. Trust me (and your voice!): it’s foolproof.

Here are three sentences you can use as models:

Halloween, a favorite day for pranks, keeps us busy on October 31.  

Uncle John, who was a police officer back in the 1990s, says law enforcement has changed dramatically since then.  

Polk City, a small town in Central Florida, is continuing to grow.

Here are two final pieces of advice:

3. Remind yourself often about the “world of words” we all inhabit. Start looking for particularly effective sentences. Try to figure out how they were put together. Repeat them. Imitate them.

Remember that English has been around for more than 1500 years, and it’s still as strong as ever; it can handle anything you throw at it. Paying attention to that “world of words” is one of the best ways to improve your own English skills.

4. Pay attention to the grammar checker and spellchecker in your writing software. Nowadays there is no excuse for writing mistakes. None. Thanks to AI, we all have access to superb copyediting. Take advantage of it!

And there’s one more thing to remember: make a point of celebrating your progress. A positive outlook speeds up learning!

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Three Writing Rules That Might Be New to You

By Jean Reynolds, Ph.D.

I’m a sworn enemy of grammar gobbledygook that’s useless and hard to understand. For example, every toddler knows what “Stop!” means. Do we really need an expensive grammar book to tell us that “Stop!” is an imperative? No.

Today I’m going to offer you three writing rules that are practical and easy to use. I’ve often taught them in police writing workshops over the years. They’re worth thinking about, even though you won’t find them in any grammar book.

Rule 1. If a sentence has more than three commas, consider rewriting it.

This rule might sound strange to you. Professional writers often use four, five, and even six commas in a sentence. So let me assure you that this is only a rule-of-thumb.

Nevertheless, I stand by it. If there are lots of commas in a sentence, it’s probably overloaded with information. I would bet serious money that it can be revised into two shorter and simpler sentences.

Long and complicated sentences are hard to read and even harder to understand—especially if the cop who’s reading them is tired after a long shift. (In my town, officers routinely work 12-hour shifts.)

I know that some writers hate short, simple sentences. “I want to sound smart!” is the eternal cry. If that’s your philosophy, you’re wrong. Serious writers don’t try to show off what they know. Their goal is effective communication—and that requires brevity and clarity.

Rule 2.  “If it starts with it, it’s a sentence.”

I read too many sentences like this one: “Frank Jones called me again, it was the third time vandals had broken his garage door.” That’s a mistake called a run-on sentence. (Some teachers call it a “fused sentence” or a “run-together sentence.”)

When it starts a new sentence, you need a period and a capital letter: “Frank Jones called me again. It was the third time vandals had broken his garage door.”

Here’s another example: “I pushed on the door, it wouldn’t open.” Wrong! It starts a new sentence. Use a period and a capital letter: “I pushed on the door. It wouldn’t open.”

Rule 3. Think twice about using the word being.

I want to assure you that being is a perfectly respectable word; I use it all the time. But it’s also a word that can gum up a sentence. Here are three sentences that should have been rewritten:

Being that we’d had a lot of rain, I wasn’t able to take any fingerprints.

Jackson was being drunk and disorderly.

Residents are being warned about the escaped convicts.

These revisions sound more natural:

Because we’d had a lot of rain, I wasn’t able to take any fingerprints.

Jackson was drunk and disorderly.

Officers are going door-to-door warning residents about the escaped convicts.

Growing As a Writer

There you have it! Let go of the idea that better writing has to be a big, onerous project. A few minutes a day—along with some concentration and practice—can yield big benefits.

A version of this article originally appeared in Standard and Training Director Magazine.

My thanks to Coach Sokolove from Field Training Associates for sending me this article: “The Impact of Large Language Models on Police Report Writing and Beyond.” Click on the link below.

https://www.police1.com/tech-pulse/the-impact-of-large-language-models-on-police-report-writing-and-beyond

                      Courtesy of www.vpnsrus.com

A recent news story is a useful reminder about why police reports are so important.

The Philadelphia Police Department is dealing with an embarrassing situation: body cam footage contradicts some of the facts in the police report about a deadly Kensington shooting.

You can read the details here: https://whyy.org/articles/philadelphia-police-shooting-eddie-irizarry-kensington-lunged-narrative/

Image courtesy of Dickelbers – CC License

This short quiz will help you prepare for writing challenges as you advance in your career.

Professional writing should avoid unnecessary words. Read the sentences below. Each one could be written more efficiently. Write your own version of each one, and then compare them to the answers below.

1.  Hazardous substances must be secured, i.e. bleach, ammonia, paint thinner, toilet cleaners, pesticides, etc.
2.  Your commitment to advance planning will help ensure that our Open House event is a success.
3.  To preregister for the webinar, fill in the form below.

SUGGESTED ANSWERS

1.  Be sure to lock up hazardous substances like bleach, ammonia, paint thinner, toilet cleaners, and pesticides. [Use simple language – “lock up” rather than “secure.” Don’t use i.e. It’s a Latin abbreviation for “that is.” Stick to English! Avoid etc. because it makes you look like you’re in too much of a hurry to come up with a complete list.]
2. Your commitment to planning will help ensure that our Open House event is a success. [Delete advance. Planning is always done in advance.]
3.  To register for the webinar, fill in the form below. [You don’t need pre. Registrations always happen before an event.]

How did you do?

The term “dangling modifier” may sound like English teachers’ jargon to you, but it points to a real-world writing problem you should avoid in your reports.

If you’re hoping for promotions later in your career, this grammar issue is even more important. Luckily it’s not difficult to learn!

“Dangling” means hanging, and a “modifier” is a description. So a “dangling modifier” is a description in the wrong place.

A dangling modifier is usually easy to spot because it sounds ridiculous! Take a look at these examples:

Spattered around the room, Jones photographed the blood.  DANGLING MODIFIER

I spotted broken glass searching for evidence.  DANGLING MODIFIER

I saw a bloody knife walking through the bedroom.  DANGLING MODIFIER

Here are the corrected sentences:

Jones photographed the blood that was spattered around the room. CORRECT

While searching for evidence, I spotted broken glass . CORRECT

Walking through the bedroom, I saw a bloody knife. CORRECT

Sometimes, though, a dangling modifier is harder to spot. This sentence may look correct on first reading – but it isn’t:

Questioning inmate Kelly, he said his sister had bought the watch for him.  DANGLING MODIFIER

There are two problems with the sentence. First, Kelly didn’t do the questioning. Second, the sentence doesn’t specify who did. The omission might create a problem in a disciplinary hearing or court case, when it’s important to identify all the parties involved.

Here’s the corrected sentence:

When I questioned inmate Kelly, he said his sister had bought the watch for him. CORRECT

Here’s some easy advice: Be careful when you start a sentence with an -ing word. Often it will contain a dangling modifier. If you do start a sentence with an -ing word, make sure it clearly indicates who did what.

In January 2022, former Arizona Corrections Director was arrested after a 3½-hour standoff with police at his home in Tempe.

Today’s quiz is based on police reporting about that standoff. Below is a list of sentences from the report. (Note that this is NOT the complete report.)

One sentence needs to be rewritten to meet the requirements for an effective report. Which one is it? The answer is below.

This short quiz challenges you to think what kind of information is useful for a police report.

Instructions: Two versions of the same incident appear below. Read both of them, and then choose A, B, or C for the question that follows.

#1 I was in full uniform when I parked my service vehicle at Jake’s Roadside Bar, entered the building, and proceeded to question the bartender about the fight.

#2  I questioned the bartender about the fight.

Which statement do you agree with – A, B, or C?

A. #1 has more useful information than #2.
B. #2 has all the useful information that’s needed.
C.  #1 and #2 are equally useful.

ANSWER

B is correct. #2 is a better choice for a police report. (Remind yourself often that police reports need to be efficient.)
You were on duty and driving your service vehicle when you were dispatched to the bar, so obviously you were in uniform. Your parking space has no bearing on the incident, so you shouldn’t mention it.

How did you do?

In September 2021, a man named Alvin Godwin drove his truck off a boulevard in Pensacola, killing a pedestrian on the sidewalk. Godwin was a retired police lieutenant. Officers at the scene believed that this was a DUI case even though the breathalyzer came out clean.

How do you document contradictory evidence like this? The answer is that you record the facts. You don’t try to explain the contradiction. Remember that you’re making a report – you’re not the judge or jury.

Here are the facts as you might write them in your report. (Note that this is not a complete report! It’s an example of how you document what you noticed and did.)

I questioned Godwin about what happened. While he was talking, I saw that he had droopy eyelids, he couldn’t stand up straight, and his speech was slow.

When I asked him to stand on one leg, he told me couldn’t do it.

I administered a breathalyzer test. The results were 0 grams of alcohol per 210 liters of breath.

I searched his pockets and found four white pills and two pill fragments.

Your agency will have a policy about how to document actions done by other criminal justice professionals – taking blood and urine samples, and testing the white pills.  The policy might be to mention them in your report, or to have those experts submit their own reports.

This short quiz will help you write better reports! Answers are below.

Instructions: Below are two sentences from a police about a theft in a convenience store. Rewrite the statements to make them more efficient. [Note that this is NOT a complete police report.]

1.  Manager Joe Cawdor advised that upon back-tracking the video footage from the shift in which the alleged theft occurred, according to a customer who was a witness, he was able to observe cashier Kathy Slate select the package of cookies, open it, and proceed to consume multiple cookies during her work shift without her paying for said items.

2.  Manager Joe Cawdor advised that during his interview with Slate she not only admitted to the theft of the aforementioned cookies but also to numerous thefts occurring on weekly basis during her approximate seven month tenure at the store.

ANSWERS

1. CCTV footage showed Slate eating a package of Oreo cookies that she hadn’t paid for.
2. When Manager Joe Cawdor talked to Slate, she admitted to taking the cookies and stealing other items.

How did you do?