The Vince McMahon Police Report

A 2006 police report has come to light accusing Vince McMahon (WWE CEO and chairman) of forcing himself on a woman in a tanning salon. The Florida prosecutor decided not to press charges. You can read the report at this link: http://www.totalprosports.com/2018/01/27/police-report-leaked-of-vince-mcmahon-showing-his-nudes-and-trying-to-force-himself-on-woman-in-tanning-salon/

It’s an excellent report – thorough and objective. Here’s a sentence that impressed me: 

She pushed him away using her hands on his chest.

Why do I like that sentence? The officer recorded what he saw. Detailed reporting can help build a case in court.

One change I would recommend is more attention to brevity. Several sentences could be written more efficiently:

Prior to using the bed, he asked if she would take a picture of him with his camera phone to send to his girlfriend in New York.

McMahon used bed 113 for the allotted time. Upon completion of the tanning session, McMahon started talking to X again.

She picked up the cleaning solution and proceeded to walk walked down the hallway to clean the bed. 

I have one more comment. I always hope that I’ll read an entire report without encountering any passive voice. This report (as so often happens!) disappointed me. Here’s the last sentence in the report:

A sworn written and taped statement was completed and submitted into evidence.  PASSIVE VOICE

Who wrote and taped the statement? Who submitted it? There’s no name. If there are questions in court about the statement, there’s no record of which officer performed those actions. Not professional.

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